My Immortal
by iJeansGirl
Summary: "Sam, Spencer began, Freddie passed away". "What?", I breathed. Carly just wept in my arms.


**A/N: Hello people. Yes my third story that I hope you enjoy. You see that episode in which Freddie get's hit by a truck instead of Carly well this is the opposite. I hope you guys like it. I cried while I was writing this so good luck in not crying and you might want to play the song My Immortal By Evanescence**

**Disclaimer: Nope I will never own iCarly.**

Sam, Freddie and Carly were walking over to Carly's house from the Groovy Smoothies place. Sam slurped her smoothie, "you know that dude who is always selling those foods on a stick get's on my nerves". "Yeah, Freddie agreed, why would he sell potatoes, on a stick, I mean who does that."

Carly laughed, "you know, at least he doesn't sell hobo's on a stick, she paused for a moment and realized what she had just said, okay that just sounded wrong and disturbing on so many levels". They were crossing that street and Sam hadn't noticed that her converse weren't tied so she tripped over her feet and her smoothie spilled all over herself. Freddie and Carly were already at the other side.

"SAM LOOK OUT!!" Yelled Carly her eyes wide at what was about to happen. The last thing I saw was Freddie pushing me out of the way, then me hitting something hard. Something… Metal.

"Samantha, Samantha?" a voice said. "Can you hear me?" I opened my eyes but immediately closed them feeling the buring of the light through my eyelids. "What happened?" Sam asked. "Your head bumped against the bumper of a car and you fell unconscious. I suddenly remembered everything and images were flying across my head here and there. I jolted up, but a pair of arms pulled me back down. "Where's Freddie!?" I asked/yelled. Carly came in the room along with Spencer.

"Sam," she came over to me and embraced me I felt something wet on my hospital clothes. She was crying. "Carly, I embraced her back, what happened why are you crying?"

"F-f-freddie, h-h-he, she couldn't help it anymore she couldn't tell me what was happening, I looked towards Spencer. "Sam, he began, Freddie's body couldn't handle the blow and, he paused, Sam, Freddie passed away." My eyes widened and I couldn't see some kind of weird liquid blinded my eyes and flowed down my pink cheek. I began to breath uneasy. "W-what?" my bottom lip was quivering uncontrollably and Carly was sobbing loudly in my arms.

"Where is he?" I choked out. Spencer exited the room and I followed him. Mrs. Benson was sobbing and her shoulders were shrugging with every sob. Then she turned to me. I saw fury and sadness in her eyes. "You!" she yelled pointing a finger at me. She stood up from her seat, and squinted her eyes at me. "You're the reason my son died, she slapped me and I fell to the ground sobbing, you whore I hope you rot in hell along with your mother!" a bunch of doctors came towards her and took hold of her arms pulling her back.

She was still cussing at me. I was on the floor in the corner sobbing and whispering the words 'I'm so sorry' over and over. Spencer picked me up and set me on the ground on me feet. "I want to see Freddie" I told him bravely. Spencer nodded and walked towards his room. I saw him there, he wasn't doing any technical things, like he used to or trying to flirt with Carly. He was just laying there motionless. I approached him slowly. My knees felt so week and I couldn't handle it, I knelt in front of him and sobbed. "Freddie, if you can here me, please, please wake up", I sniffled and took his hand and brushed it against my cheek.

"Freddie, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry I caused you so much pain, my body trembled at his cold body against my cheek. I went over to see his face clearer, those brown orbs that looked at me every day, weren't opened, I cried harder. "Freddie, I forgot to tell you something before you d-d-left".

I felt as if I were talking to him except he couldn't answer me back. "Freddie I love you, I wish I would've died, I deserved it not you, I-I can't d-d-do a-a-anything anymore," I couldn't talk I was choking. I leaned over and kissed his lips one last time and whispered I love you, a tear fell on his cold blue lips. My hand went over to his head and stroked his hair, I smiled sadly through my tears, Spencer was still there with Carly in his arms.

I got up and walked to my room silently. I haven't spoken a word since then, I only cut my wrists and cry. What else can I do? I went to his funeral and wept through the whole time. I would never see his face again.

The last iCarly didn't go so well, I broke down and my blood pressure rose. Well it sort of went like this:

"_Ready Gibby?" asked Carly wiping some tears off her face. I stood there watching her emotionless. 'I can't wait 'till I die.' I thought. "Ready Carls." He assured her._

"_In 5, 4, 3, 2- my lip quivered violently at those words, the exact ones that Freddie used to say. Carly made a sign towards Gibby and he immediately stopped. "I mean, action", he changed it. _

"_Hi I'm Carly and this is Sam" Carly introduced me like we used to do the show. "Freddie isn't here anymore he died in a truck accident. Gibby is doing this last show in memory of him, Sam is very depressed right now and she doesn't talk, my body shook violently and I dropped to the floor. Hearing my name being chanted a couple of 50 times. Next thing I woke up in the hospital and they said I had high blood pressure, but I didn't care. I wanted my Freddie back._

There was a night that while I was sleeping over at Carly's place, I couldn't sleep so I got up and went downstairs to the living room. To where the small altar Carly had built for Freddie was. I knelt down in front of his picture and stroke its cheek. I smiled and a single tear rolled down my cheek. It had already been 3 months after the accident.

"I love you so much", I hugged the picture close to my chest and wept for about an hour. I got up and sat on the piano bench and just played, not caring that it was 4:34 in the morning. Carly came downstairs and Spencer walked out of his room, they were both looking at eachother then they shrugged and walked over towards me. I decided that I was going to write a song for Freddie so I started.

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

I had actually felt Freddie before near me brushing his liveless fingertips against my wet skin. The skin that I would never have dreamt to ever be dry, a river of tears were always flowing down them.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I can't seem to get over that fact that he's gone, the thought only makes me sick and disgusted with myself for not being able to tie my shoe, maybe it would have changed.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

It's true I did, always I never gave up on Freddie and he never gave up on me. If I had to kill someone for him, even my own mother, I would I wouldn't care as long as he was safe, the piano was not full of wet drops and Carly and Spencer were sitting on the couch listening.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

I was always having nightmares about that day. It haunted me, my soul made me feel helpless and I would wake up screaming. Yet he always used to wrap his arms around me warmly telling me that it was going to be ok. I think he got that message that I loved him. I smiled sadly to myself.

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

I have tried hard to tell myself that you weren't with me any longer. I can't let go, my love for you is to strong. You have been with me but, only I could see you. So it's like I've just been alone all along.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me, me, me

Don't worry Freddie. I finished my song and it was all very silent except that I saw Freddie smiling along my side. I mouthed the words I love you, and he was gone but he had smiled before he left. I was happy that he was in a better place now. "I'll see you soon my love", I whispered.

**A/N: Yes I cried so hard for this story. This actually happened to me to my boyfriend. I couldn't stand it. It was so hard. But I know he is in a better place now. Please review. ~Katie**


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